well imagine it like this:
pho in the morning
pho in the evening
pho at suppertime
when roland's in lao pdr
he eats pho all the time
yup. for the past 3 days ive had various iterations of that good ol
vietnamese noodle soup for all meals of the day - my only refuge being
a bag of spicy basil lays potato chips that i snack on while coding my
interviews.
i'm now in a more northern province, closer to vietnam, actually,
which explains why i'm having so much pho-king pho for my meals. i
obviously can't complain - the food is great and the people are nice,
so a few days of rice noodles wouldn't hurt.
anyway, funny story, as i type in the middle of meetings - yesterday
the driver and translator said, "so do you want to see wet market?"
being the curious american, i gleefully agree. what my guides lacked
in explanation, they truly made up for in making this experience
memorable.
as we got out of the car, instead of easing me into the process that
is a market in southeast asia, by starting with exotic fruits or
vegetables, they start at the meat section. of course on the way
there i was comforted by the rambutans and mangosteens that i ate for
dessert while in thailand (if you don't know what these fruits are,
google them - one is a plum looking fruit, the other looks like the
ballsack of a pink monster). anyway. to start off, my guide shows me
what looks like a honeycomb, and again, like a dumb american, i
exclaim "i know what that is, it's honey!" he insistently urges, "no,
no, this is wasps" i take a closer look and see small wasp larvae
squirming in their pods, slimy and slippery. my stomach turns a bit,
but nothing too crazy.
then.
the driver points and laughs at my feet, where i see a small makeshift
bamboo cage, with field rats wrestling around. then i look at the
table and i see a line of dead squirrels, faces frozen in deathly
terror. next to them is what appears to be some sort of guinea
pig/gopher/otter creature, likewise prostrate and fangs exposed.
i couldn't handle it. as i tried to look away to find some sort of
familiar animal - a friggin dead chicken would be nice - i couldnt
find anything, it was essentially a pet store. except the pets aren't
cute. they're dead. and waiting to be cooked. i made the
quintessential roland throw up noise and proceeded to run through the
market - as the lao women all pointed and laughed at me. i reached
the end of the market, panting and still feeling the chunks rising as
more lao people surrounded me and laughed, then dumped buckets of
water and threw purple grapes at me. just kidding, the grapes were
green.
so that was day yesterday. somewhere in there were some bowls of some
more pho-king pho and some awesome prehistoric jars - think lao's
stonehenge - that i then defiled as i climbed on top of them and took
pictures.
i'm visiting a maternal and child health center in an hour to assess
their services, so i know it should brighten my day because, let's be
honest, there's nothing like an asian baby to make you smile. unless
he's throwing grapes at you and laughing in your face. again,
kidding.
excuse my horrible attempts at jokes, as my verbalization of actual
words is limited to my interviews and when im dubbing the thai soap
operas to my own imagination - last night, during a melee between two
thai women, i reasoned that one was disguising herself as a man and
the other was trying to expose her by ripping off her bra. the plot
thickened as flashbacks showed the she-man kissing the other girl's
boyfriend, who upon finding out that she was really a girl was
internally conflicted. then for some reason there was a talking dog,
but i couldn't, for the life of me, come up with a plot line for that.
see what being alone in a foreign country does to you?
so re: the subject of this post, i am DYING for a cheeseburger and
fries. i thought i would starve here in laos, but its quite the
opposite - all the rice and fried pork, paired with chili sauce, have
taken quite a toll on my tummy area and inherently, my bowels.
and in true roland tradition, i think i'll end on that comment about bowels.
i'm currently creating a facebook album, but the power in this
internet cafe just went out, so like mission impossible i have 5
minutes to finish this email....
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